maldita..

gusto kong mag-maldita ng sobra sobra.. pero narealize ko hindi naman dapat, at saka bad din yun. yoko din. ay ang gulo!

anyways, kagabi, galing ako sa bridal shower ni chickoy. she's a friend of mine sa office pero hindi naman kami super close. hindi ko nga alam kung baket ako na-invite eh. actually mas close ata kmi ng fiance nya - si Guj. kase paminsan minsan eh nag-uusap kami ni Guj about God. :) yun.

so ayun na nga, invited ako. honestly, nung una, i was excited about planning the party. i was one of those who were assigned by her maid of honor - si mich (team mate ko kase at super girl friend), to handle the funds and keeping everyone posted about everything, etc.

but eventually, i kinda lost interest in being part of it. kase naman common friend namin ni chix si jesse, yung ex ni marc. actually, mas close ni si chix kay jesse, kase naman, mas matagal na silang magkakakilala. so ayun na nga, eh weeks before the party eh medyo may mga hindi magagandang balita ang kumalat! my gosh, maldita ang drama ko dito! ako ang b*tch! nagkapalitan ng maaanghang na blog entries sa multiply kami! heller, malay ko bang may multiply din sya at nagbblog din sya no? eh ang sabi ko lang naman eh natatawa ako't talagang binura "nya" ako sa friends' list nya ako sa Facebook! eh ni hindi ko nga binanggit pangalan nya dun eh. masyado kase syang assuming..

so ayun na nga, inisip nya eh sya yun. so ang drama nya eh mega blog din daw. hindi ko naman nabasa kase wa ako care. kiber na no! *maldita*

so some concerned friends of mine, got me into this talk. pinamukha nila saken ang kamalditahan ko. so sinabi ko rin lang na i wouldn't have done such, if she didn't call me names! odiba? eh totoo naman eh. it takes two to tango.

*ok, balik tayo sa shower party scene*

i got there early. i was with karen, sarah and rey (o lalaki si rey, pero sya yung magppicture picture, bf sya ni karen). pagdating dun eh lafang agad kami ng mga tinake out namin. at si bf, ayun, major text na kung asan na kami, etc.

dumating din si tita meng, ang super kikay na mom ni mich! sa totoo lang, hindi ko sya nakilala! aba, mantakin mo, mas maganda pa kay mich! hehe. eh since ka chika ko na eversince si tita, eh ayun, kwentuhan kami. nangamusta tungkol samin ni M. at syempre dami kong nakwento.

after awhile, mich handed her phone to tita, someone's asking for directions daw. then si jesse pala. hehe. eh since hindi familiar si tita sa dinaanan nila jesse, ako rin ang kumausap. a few minutes later ayun, the doorbell rang and since i was near the door, akech na ang nagbukas.. at ayun, siya pala.. so casual lang.

at si tita meng, nakakatuwa! hindi umuwi hangga't hindi nakakausap at nakikita ng malapitan si jesse. loka talaga yun si tita. hehe! sabi ko nang hindi ako maldita eh. *hihi*

as the program started,i also strarting feeling uneasy. it seemed like everybody's at ease with each other. i just busied myself with teh games. deadma. kaso eto, jesse and i are in the same team. *deadma ulit*

first game was the very common "Dress up the Bride and Maid of Honor" yoko maging bride, kase mas type kong magdesign ng gown, kaya ayun, si Jesse nalang. i was fixing her gown then. it was like the typical chika chika with a friend..

it was nice..

really nice..

alam mo, hindi naman talaga ako maldita eh. naggiging ganun lang pag may nag mamaldita saken! sus, kagaya na lang nung may nang away sa nanay ko sa jeep. aba eh di nakatikim sya saken. haha!

so ang conclusion of the night, i was close to saying "uy, usap tayo ah" kay jesse. pero buti nalang hindi natuloy. hindi dahil ayokong maunang magsorry. but all because i want to fix myself muna. i want to make sure na ok nako. na when i ask forgiveness eh yun na yun. wala nang bitterness at hindi na maglookback or like mangsumbat or whatever you call that. i want myself to heal first! hello! lahat tayo may karapatan dun.

as for, ipagddasal ko rin that whatever she feels for me, or for whatever happened, eh maging ok na feelings nya when i talk to her. yun.

so there. i hope things would work out fine.

i have learned my lesson and i hope she also did.

period.